Being a small business owner definitely has it’s perks don’t get me wrong. However, everyone has to answer to someone, and sometimes living and doing business in California makes me want to pull whats left of my hair out. It feels like a battle of David vs. Goliath and jumping through all of the bureaucratic hoops can be exhausting. I stumbled across this on the internet and laughed and cried at the same time.
Ark Building
In 2016, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in sunny California. The Lord said “Once again, the earth has become a place of debauchery, over populated with sinners and I must bring it all to an end. Go Noah and build an ark and fill it with two of every living thing and a few good humans. You have six months to build the ark before I flood the earth for forty days and forty nights.
Six months goes by and the Lord looks down on Noah. He sees no ark, only Noah crying in his front yard. Angry, the Lord demands to know why the ark has not been built and why Noah has disobeyed him.
“Forgive me Lord, Noah starts, “but the inspector won’t give me a building permit since we disagree on the need for a sprinkler system. Secondly, my neighbors have complained to the Development Appeal Board that my building of the ark in my own yard violates the neighborhood zoning laws. Also, I could not get any wood.”
“Wood?” the Lord asks, looking blatantly at a large thicket of trees nearby.
“Yes, there is a ban on cutting local trees since the spotted owl has taken up residency in them recently. The owls are endangered and the environmentalists have protected both the owls and trees. This has driven up the cost of wood since it is now being imported from outside counties and will take several months to arrive. Then the animal rights activists rallied against my collecting of the animals. They claimed that the ark was too restrictive and that I couldn’t confine wild animals against their will. When I tried to hire workers to help me speed things along I was attacked by The Human Rights Commission, Immigration and Neutralization and the labor unions. They told me how many of each minority I had to hire, but only if those minorities had all of their proper documentation, and they were Union workers with ark building experience. This did not leave many candidates. Finally, the IRS seized all of my assets since I was trying to flee the United States while smuggling endangered species. I’m sorry Lord I don’t think I can fulfill your request.”
At that moment the rain clouds receded, the sun began to beam down on Noah, and a rainbow appeared out of nowhere.
Noah was perplexed and asked the Lord “So, you are not going to destroy the world?”
The Lord looked at Noah and said sadly, “Whats the point? the government has already beaten me to it”
